Top 5 Things That Make You An Asshole - Commuting Edition
I have to commute to work, I'm sure I've mentioned this before a few times. I have to take the train, and I pay about £1800, about $3500. For that sort of money I should be getting free meals and a bed on my train. However most of the time I manage to get a seat, and that's good enough for me, as I either read, sleep or play on my DS.Most of the people I travel with are nice enough, they are courteous and polite, we apologise to one another if we get in each others way, or say thank you if they let us pass. But there's always a few oxygen thieves around who make commuting even more tiresome. Here are the top 5 things that make you an asshole commuter:
1. Standing on the left of the escalator.
2. Stopping suddenly in the middle of the flow of commuters.
3. Not moving into the train so more people can get on.
4. Complaining loudly about nothing.
5. Standing in front of the train doors.
On the way to work these things are barely noticed through my blurry and semi-comatose morning haze. I stumble on to the train and claim a seat, throwing my bag into the overhead storage and sitting down as quickly as I can. I then either slip back into unconsciousness and drool over myself for half an hour, or try and do something active to stir my brain from a porridge-like mess into an effervescent bowl of coke and pop rocks.
By the time it comes to getting home again I'm tired and irritable. The people in my way are no longer ignored, they're infuriating. The ancient crone complaining has a voice like cutlery scraping on glass, instead of the dull muttering of this morning. The final straw is the idiot trying to force his way past me as I'm getting off the train at home, generally he just ends up back on the platform again as everyone exits the train. I fail to see the point of trying to get on the train while people are getting off, it's like a salmon swimming up a waterfall. Sure you'll get there eventually, but then your just going to lay your eggs and die. Wait... what?
