Thursday, February 14, 2008 

Top 5 Types of Underwear

Happy Valentines Day! Yeah! Can anyone tell me what St Valentine did? No you can't! Because no one knows. And I don't just mean a general no one, I mean literally no one knows. However I'm pretty sure whatever they were martyred for does not include giving out flowers, cards and chocolate.

As I don't really like Valentine's Day I won't be talking much about it. I will however be getting the Wench something, or else I'm in trouble, not that she ever gets in trouble for not getting me anything, but I'm wondering off the point. The topic today will instead be about pants, as we call them, or underwear for the Americans in the audience. My Top 5 types of undergarments are:

1. Pants (The traditional tighty whiteys, in case you think I mean trousers)
2. Boxers
3. Thongs
4. Lingerie
5. None

I gave up wearing pants quite a while ago, at some point boxers just became more comfortable, plus they were less embarrassing, like wearing swimming shorts instead of speedos.

Thongs are brilliant, and I'm not talking about banana hammocks, and I'm not saying that I wear them. But aren't they great? Who ever invented thongs should win a nobel prize. I'm not sure which category it'd be in though, maybe peace, but also possibly physics or medicine... banishing the VPL should certainly be worthy of something. On the topic the Wench should win some kind of prize, as pretty much all her underwear consists of thongs, and that's why I love her!

Lingerie is a gift from the gods. Is there anything better than lingerie? And it's so comfortable... Although every one knows you can always trump lingerie by simply going commando.

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Friday, February 08, 2008 

Top 5 'Mature' Activities

I recently read this article. In it the female author complains how men aren't growing up like they used to, how they're underachieving. Men should be less adolescent and do more mature activities, instead of playing Halo 3 with your buddies you should be 'packing leisure hours' with the following grown up pursuits:

1. Shopping
2. Traveling
3. Dining with friends
4. Getting your hair done
5. Having sleepovers

Of course these pastimes seem like infinitely more mature activities than 'playing basketball with your buddies, downloading music, playing on your xbox360, then going out to bars and parties', after all it's not like I haven't been doing her list of activities since I was 7 myself. Well except for the sleepovers, but I did use to have house mates. The list she's deriding is pretty much the same as hers, just a male equivalent, none of these activities are 'mature', surely by that she means something like visiting museums and art galleries, reading dusty books and wine tasting.

I suspect what she's really upset about is that men just don't want to get married and have children. Oh no, what a disaster, she can't find a man. This doesn't make them immature or in need of growing up. What are the advantages to getting married? Companionship? Men have friends, as she pointed out. Sex? Also as she herself said, men are capable of finding this without being married. A family? Men can have children later in life, so what's the rush. Basically men have no incentive to get married. Unless you call getting divorced, losing your kids, money, car and house like over 50% of marriages an incentive.

By the way I'm getting married in just under 8 months, I'm 25, I have a job, an apartment and four games consoles, how immature am I?

Update: Looks like this is becoming a trend, get some more gamer hate here.

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About me

  • I'm Ugly Toy
  • From York, N Yorkshire, United Kingdom
  • I'm not that interesting, I just write here
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