I'm going to Hell

Happy Valentines Day! Yeah! Can anyone tell me what St Valentine did? No you can't! Because no one knows. And I don't just mean a general no one, I mean literally no one knows. However I'm pretty sure whatever they were martyred for does not include giving out flowers, cards and chocolate.

As I don't really like Valentine's Day I won't be talking much about it. I will however be getting the Wench something, or else I'm in trouble, not that she ever gets in trouble for not getting me anything, but I'm wondering off the point. The topic today will instead be about pants, as we call them, or underwear for the Americans in the audience. My Top 5 types of undergarments are:

1. Pants (The traditional tighty whiteys, in case you think I mean trousers)
2. Boxers
3. Thongs
4. Lingerie
5. None

I gave up wearing pants quite a while ago, at some point boxers just became more comfortable, plus they were less embarrassing, like wearing swimming shorts instead of speedos.

Thongs are brilliant, and I'm not talking about banana hammocks, and I'm not saying that I wear them. But aren't they great? Who ever invented thongs should win a nobel prize. I'm not sure which category it'd be in though, maybe peace, but also possibly physics or medicine... banishing the VPL should certainly be worthy of something. On the topic the Wench should win some kind of prize, as pretty much all her underwear consists of thongs, and that's why I love her!

Lingerie is a gift from the gods. Is there anything better than lingerie? And it's so comfortable... Although every one knows you can always trump lingerie by simply going commando.

Labels: fun, nice, presents, religion, shame, underwear, valentines, wench

I used to love making Mix Tapes when I was younger. I never had many CDs or tapes of my own, so making a Mix Tape was my only way of getting hold of the music I wanted. After all, the internet wasn't really around in the form it is now, and my access to it was very limited, I had no idea of the magical and illegal things I could do.

So I would make a list of my favourite songs at the time, around 40 would normally be a good number. Then I'd go around school, finding who had the CDs I needed and would lend me them for an afternoon. Once I had collected all the CDs I needed I'd head to my room and get recording, but I always kept these tips in mind:

1. Don't put two songs by the same band next to each other.
2. Sudden changes in pace break the flow.
3. All tapes must have an excellent first song.
4. But the second song must be better.
5. The third song takes it down a bit, then the rest builds to the final song.

First of all it's best if you plot out your track listing, I could always fit about 12-15 songs on one side. This inevitably left quite a few songs from the 40 I'd chosen, which went into the list for my next tape. It's important that you have a flow to the album, that each track leads nicely into the next one, it's useless going from a slow song to a fast song, it just doesn't feel right when you listen to it.

As far as early relationships were concerned, a Mix Tape was as good as moving in with your girlfriend when you were 13. They always made great Valentine's Day presents, after all they take an entire afternoon to sort out. I can't tell you how much credit I got for my tapes. Today though downloading a bunch of songs from ITunes and burning them to a CD can take about 30 minutes, how much credit can you get for that? Now that I've proposed to and moved in with the Wench, I don't get any credit for that sort of thing anymore. To make an emotional impact requires something much more, like matching sweatsuits, and I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment yet.

Labels: music, nice, presents, valentines, wench