I'm going to Hell

Everyone has actors who they like, and they'll watch a movie with them in, because they're good at what they do. On the other hand there are actors who no one in their right mind would want to watch, and you actively avoid, lest you try and scrape out your own eyes in protest of what your watching.

A few of the actors who put me off of watching films are:

1. Jennifer Lopez - You would, but everything she does is terrible.
2. Julia Roberts - Almost certainly a chick flick, and not a good one.
3. Richard Gere - He's like a Julia Roberts clone, but with a different chromosome.
4. Patrick Swayze - Except for Donnie Darko, his acting is bad and dancing does not a fighter make.
5. David Caruso - AAARRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

I've got quite a lot of actors that force me to rethink watching a film, and generally I'll wait for someone I trust to tell me it's a good film, before I put my eyeballs in harms way. Actors like Hugh Grant, Martin Lawrence, Robert Redford and Sean Penn also provoke this kind of self preservation.

In fact the other week I accidentally watched the first episode of a new series of CSI:Miami. It was fine for about 5 secs, then the slow motion kicked in and my ears started to bleed. Shortly after that Horatio assumed his normal 'cool' position and delivered a cheesy line while looking of into the distance, with his shades on. Once I'd recovered enough during the titles and the screaming stopped I grabbed the remote control and tried to change channels, only to find it didn't work. In desperation I lunged at the TV, the final notes of the titles ringing in my still bleeding ears. I just managed to hit the standby button as Horatio's hideous face one again appeared before me. To be safe I left the TV off for 2 hours, you know, in case it was a double episode.

Labels: CSI, films, suckage, TV