I'm going to Hell

Calling Shotgun is an ancient tradition, going back many decades to those pirate wannabes, the Cowboys. Back in the famous Cowboy Era people used to travel around by wagons and the person sitting next to the driver would carry a shotgun. The shotgun was mainly for show, as no one would be stupid enough to attack a Cowboy, and the mythical 'Indians' have since been debunked as Yankee propaganda.

Since then the practice has extended to cars, with the rules of Shotgun becoming loosely defined. A lot of House Rules have been created over time, with many regional variations and changes being applied. Here are what I consider to be some of the most important Shotgun Rules:

1. Shotgun can only be called when in sight of the car.
2. If two people call shotgun at the same time, whoever reaches the car first wins.
3. Shotgun can only be called if you are on the way to the car.
4. Shotgun can be called for all seats in the car, so the last person to call Shotgun gets the Bitch Seat (middle seat).
5. Women can't call Shotgun.

Most of these rules were picked up or originated while I was at university. Before that neither me nor any of my friends really had cars, so the topic never came up. But at uni there were lots of lifts given to groups of mates, so some kind of system needed to be enforced. Rule #3 was important as calling Shotgun became ridiculous: before an event was even announced, weeks in advance or before someone even had a car. Rule #4 originated as no one ever wanted to sit in the Bitch Seat.

The most important rule is rule #5. Girls seemed unable to grasp the intricacies of calling Shotgun, they were constantly losing Shotgun rights because of poor choices of music, breaking calling rules and sulking when they lost the race to the car. To solve this problem it was decided that girls should lose the right to call Shotgun. Don't look at me like that, they had their chance. They can still vote, what more do you want?

Labels: comedy, driving, friends, fun, women