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Friday, March 24, 2006 

Top 5 Lightbulb Jokes

You gotta love dumb jokes. And everyone knows the typical jokes like the 'Cross the road' jokes or 'a man walks into a bar' joke, and these are just some more of the classics.

It takes a smart mind to come up with a good lightbulb joke, and more often than not they're just not funny, but these are some that I found which tickled me for some reason or another:



  1. Q: How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None -- we're all gonna die anyway.


  2. Q. How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A. Two: one to screw it in and one to suck my dick.


  3. Q. How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A. Well I guess you weren't fuckin' there, were ya?!


  4. Q. How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A. LET'S RIDE BIKES!


  5. Q: How many Internet mailing list subscribers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: 1,331
    1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mailing list that the light bulb has been changed
    14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
    7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
    27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
    53 to flame the spell checkers
    156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
    41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
    109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this e-mail exchange to alt.lite.bulb
    203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
    111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts **are** relevant to this mail list.
    306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
    27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs
    14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs.
    3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.
    33 to quote all posts to date, including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too."
    12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
    19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three."
    4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
    1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup.
    47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here.
    143 votes for alt.lite.bulb.



The last one is more of a written joke than one you read out. And if your sad enough (like me) to find that funny then there really is no hope for you.

Honourable mention:

Q. How many dull people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One.

I like the 5th one. Thanks for giving us info and jokes at the same time. Omni Lightings

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  • I'm Ugly Toy
  • From York, N Yorkshire, United Kingdom
  • I'm not that interesting, I just write here
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