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Thursday, March 23, 2006 

Top 5 Things to say to a Naked Woman (Pt 3)

This is the last installment of things to say to a naked woman, featuring some of the things from this article that I would use, or have used before. I can see why they would work, I can see why they did work, and I would probably use them again. They're more the simple, less daring comments, I'm not one for grand gestures and showering compliments, but I like to think that they are heartfelt when they eventually get said.

Top 5 Things I would actually say to a Naked Woman

1. "I want to kiss/lick/touch every inch of you."
2. "I'll cancel my plans if you'll stay here with me for the rest of the weekend."
3. "I love your [fill in body part here]."
4. Any use of the word "hot." Especially: "You're so hot."
5. "Damn, I've missed you."

The first is always a good starter, followed by three or four, it's something safe, you don't feel like an idiot saying it, and she feels better about herself getting compliments. Two is dangerously close to being cheesy, and is generally where I draw the line. Luckily for me it worked the one time I've used it. Unfortunately I've used five far too many times.

Top 5 things never to add to those comments

1. "No one's ever done that before and lived."
2. "Can we do that again? I forgot to hit record on my camera."
3. While looking out the window at people not currently in bed with her: "Suckers." While looking at the people currently in bed with her: "lucky bastards."
4. "Let's play hooky today. You won't get in trouble -- I am your principal, after all"
5. Playful laughter that escalates into maniacal laughter that transitions into coughing that degenerates into sobbing

This list was actually stolen from Defective Yeti who had the genius to come up with a response to every one of the 30 things to say. These are the ones I found funny, although some of them had me laughing out loud!

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  • I'm Ugly Toy
  • From York, N Yorkshire, United Kingdom
  • I'm not that interesting, I just write here
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