Top 5 Perks of being ill

1. Missing work
2. Not getting out of bed
3. Catching up on my DVD list
4. Getting sympathy from my girlfriend
5. Being able to masturbate whenever and wherever I want
The last one is rather more of a treat than it may seem, as I hardly get anytime to myself anymore, what with having a girlfriend who lives with me now. And she isn't gonna touch me in this condition, which leaves only one option...
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