I'm going to Hell

After carefully vetoing the rule 'Rock Stars don't count' rule with my girlfriend this weekend, on account of the fact that most Rock Stars are male, and "Hit me baby one more time" does not count as a Rock Song, we've since discussed our '5 Celebrity Freebie Fuck List'.

Everyone should know what this list is. It's kind of a 'Get out of Jail free card' where your girlfriend is not allowed to kill you if (should the conditions be right and the planets be aligned properly) you sleep with one of the celebrities on your list. I believe this became general knowledge after a particular episode of Friends.

Generally the rule is that you are allowed a list of 5 celebrities that you would be allowed to sleep with. In order to get on the list you must have agreed with your partner about the celebrity's level of fame. For example they must be famous enough to make them reasonably unattainable, you can't just say "that fine looking girl who works in the brothel down the road, well she's known all over Leeds for her blowjobs". That sort of thing doesnt count, they must at least be nationally known, or well known enough to appear in Heat magazine or some other similarly shite waiting room fodder. So after a small bit of debate:

1. Scarlett Johansson
2. Jessica Alba
3. Pamela Anderson
4. Rachel Stevens
5. Michelle Marsh

I've also taken Lucy Pinder as a backup, should on of the girls on my list die, or I meet her first.

I'm well aware of the fact I stand absolutely no chance with the first three girls on the list (despite Scarlett Johansson claiming she doesn't believe in monogamy), and only a snowballs chance in the blast furnace of a molten lava factory in Hell of shagging the last two on the list. But I can dream can't I?

**I reserve the right to alter this list should I encounter anyone famous and reasonably good looking, who just can't wait to shag me**