Top 5 Names for Hot Sauce
Hot Sauce, friend to terrible chiefs all over the world. If you can't cook, just add some Hot Sauce and no one will be able to taste your food anyway. Or smell it. Or touch it. Or even see it.There are some really great names for all the Hot Sauces of the world, and call me stereotypical if you must, but I believe most of them stem from the USA. Personally I've found that I can eat hot food, my Dad was taught the secrets of spicy food by a couple of Gurkkhas. If he's cooking he normally leaves it cooking for a few days, or until you burst into a sweat, your eyes start running and your nose dribbles down your face, just because you walked in the kitchen. I've never really found a use for Hot Sauce, normal chilies and spices work fine for me, and besides, I like to taste my food. Here are my Top 5 names for Hot Sauce:
1. Edible Napalm
2. Volcano Eggs
3. Satan's Urine
4. Party in your Rectum
5. I Can't Believe It's Not Acid!
As far as I know all of these names are fictional. One that is not fictional is Insanity Sauce. Viv and I purchased some of this delightful stuff for her step-dad after I tried it at a mates house, because apparently he likes Hot Sauce, and maybe Viv has a grudge against him or something. When I tried it I lightly ran my little finger around the rim of the tiny bottle, getting a tiny drops worth, which I then licked off.
I've only dreamed of pain like it. The tiny drop spread to my entire mouth, my eyes and nose ran, I broke into a huge sweat, my ears started to itch, my lips burned incredibly, then went numb. And I stayed in that condition for about 20 minutes, no matter how much bread, milk or yoghurt I ate. Honestly, they should give it to criminals during interrogations, at least they could do until someone brings up the pesky Geneva Convention.
