Top 5 Things I hate to hear from Clients
At my job I have to do things to a specific plan, arranged in advance with the client by someone else, so I don't have to deal with them, and we can get things done on time. Two weeks later the deadline is approaching, everything is going well, we've been asking the client every day if there is anything they want to change, with no reply. Then suddenly, from out of nowhere,possibly minutes before the site is finished, we will receive an email or phone call and the client will then say:
1. "I was thinking about changing..."
2. "Could we possibly do this differently..."
3. "I have a list of changes I'd like to go over..."
4. "Where is the [insert something they never wanted before], I was sure we requested it."
5. "Why isn't the site ready yet? We were told it would be ready on..."
The last one inevitably comes after the first four. When the deadline has had to be moved, projects rearranged, staff reallocated and overtime spent working. Yes your site is late, you arrogant little turd, and it's all your fault. Your short-sightedness, stupidity and failure to review the site whenever we asked you to and your huge list of irrelevant and bizarre changes, mainly brought about because of your pretentious and power hungry attitude, trying to appear like you know what your doing in order to demand your over-inflated salary, has put us so far behind that if we were charging you for it, it would cost you double. And the fact that your trying to dump the blame on me will not get your site done any faster. I may even go so far as to come round to your house, set fire to your dog, skullfuck your children, castrate you with a pair of rusty hedgetrimmers, then fuck you with a sideways broom, before letting my 6'2" gay black friend with questionable taste in men have his way with you in front of your family. I won't do anything to your wife, I'm not an animal.
Clients, Anger, Frustration, Work
