Top 5 Reasons for not updating recently
If anyone actually reads this blog regularly, which would surprise me, you may be wondering why I've disappeared for about three weeks. Well in keeping with the theme of the blog, I'll give you a Top 5:1. I couldn't be bothered
2. I was in a coma
3. I went out for a walk and didn't come back
4. I was kidnapped and held as a sex slave by 5 stunningly hot large breasted nymphomaniac dancers
5. I was on holiday
In fact the answer was no. 4. Bet that's a surprise! You thought I was on holiday didn't you? I was in fact abducted from my house and chained to a super king size bed and ravaged repeatedly. I was finally released and thrown naked into the street when the girls managed to capture a professional footballer. Needless to say, I haven't missed this blog at all, as I had an awesome time!
