Top 5 Most Unconvincing Sex Acts
Since leaving university I've heard a number of phrases almost never used in everyday speech, and possibly completely fictional, as no evidence has ever been produced that these exercises have ever been actually performed, outside of celebrity sex tapes or violent porn.My Top 5 most unlikely sex acts for anyone to actually want to perform, or have performed on them, are:
1. Dirty Sanchez
2. Arabian Goggles
3. Bucking Bronco
4. Angry Dragon
5. Donkey Punch
I think the average person is going to look at you with utter disgust if you told them what any of these are, and attempting them would be an act of extreme stupidity. I think the least offensive is probably the Arabian Goggles, as it could happen by accident if you had bizarrely huge balls. The rest were probably thought up by drunken idiots, trying to brag to their buddies about what's the shittiest thing they've ever done to a woman. If anyone you know claims to have done any of these incredibly dubious, improbable, possibly even implausible acts, then beat them with a steel bar till they can't move, then skullfuck them. Maybe they'll appreciate the irony of dying by a method that was previously fictional.
I commented the other day and I got an error message. Shit.
I'd like to find some relatively shocking, but not damning, comment to say to my wife for the "bucking bronco."
Finding the right thing to say is the toughest.
Posted by
Seals |
7:13 pm
I'm sure you could think of something to say, but it's the reaction afterwards that'd be difficult. You need a plan set up so you don't get divorced, with presents and flowers and maybe her sister there to deny all knowledge of what you claimed :)
Posted by
Ugly Toy |
10:09 am