I'm going to Hell

Having finally lived with a woman for a long period of time, rather than just getting together for the good stuff, I've learned some disturbing things. Women are a different species. I long ago decided that I will never understand a woman, no matter how much research, money or practice I got, you can only hope to maintain one, never understand one.

After I'd accepted this fact my life has become a lot easier, just get on with stuff and point out occasionally how mental the woman in your life is to her, if she tries to blame you for anything. Here are the Top 5 things I will NEVER get about women:

1. You want to tell me your problems, but you don't want any help.
2. All their hints - I'm a man, if I want something I ask for it.
3. The selective memory.
4. The Hypocrisy - I do it too, but I admit I'm a hypocrite.
5. The need for a huge awesome wedding

I do not understand weddings. It's supposed to be this huge event, the happiest day of a woman's life! That should be when she sees the kitchen in her new house *wink*. Seriously though, it's like girls are conditioned from birth for this, and it's so traumatic and stressful. I fail to see the appeal. And I'm the one from a family where my parents are still married, hers are divorced.

My fiancee is asking my opinion on what we should have at our wedding. I try and say as little as possible, knowing full well I will be labeled a retard for saying something she doesn't like, so I just agree. It's not my day, it's hers, she should plan what she wants, I just get told my ideas are rubbish anyway. Then she tells me I don't care.

It's all a conspiracy from the wedding industry, just like Christmas was invented by Coca Cola, and Valentine's Day was invented by Hallmark.